Just as the guy needs to respect the ladys decision to keep it. Is it fair that in cases where neither the man nor the woman wants to continue a pregnancy, only the woman has to undergo a medical proceedure (or even when they want to carry to term for that matter)? April 9, 2012, 4:18 pm. Males who have been RAPED still have to pay child support. The memories you two have together are yours and yours alone. Oh I agree that its a bad idea, but still a choice to be made individually. I think its pretty unfair that women have the choice to abort or not, and the man gets no say in that, not really. Answer (1 of 11): I am an older lady. lets_be_honest We were back and forth and it was very frustrating for me so I gave him an ultimatum I told him that he either wanted to make it work and we move forward, or, that I was leaving to another city to start over without him. Roe v. Wade merely established that abortion is a privacy issues and that a womans right to choose what is done with her body takes precedent over the rights of a state to prevent abortion. Dont ever sleep with someone mean or stupid, because if you get pregnant, youre going to be tied to that person for the rest of your childs life. And I was like, Ewww, Mom, thats gross! But it was great advice, and Ive always followed it. Because the woman in question has to take on being pregnant for 9 months, giving birth, etc. lets_be_honest I do plan to stay on my birth control because having a period every month doesnt sound like loads of fun after only having 4 a year for so long. Anytime you have sex, theres a chance you could get pregnant, no matter how careful you are. April 9, 2012, 2:44 pm. Those double standards take up too much room. So true. It isnt pertinent to the discussion. Were also stuck with either A) experiencing an abortion or B) going through a pregnancy. but all those prominent male politicians usually turn out to be gay and not hetero at all.. bittergaymark But let me make a few suggestions Steve. Im not arguing that he should be able to force an abortion. Whatever you do, leave the future children or the pregnancy out of the equation when it comes to your relation. If the man doesnt, apparently you feel that he should not have that option. They shouldnt just play house for the sake of the kid. April 10, 2012, 5:30 pm. Thus, her meal is tainted with traces of peanuts. Good. The fact the option to abort or not is a womans right is no secret. April 9, 2012, 4:39 pm. She refused to listen. It really doesnt help the LW at all and doesnt belong here but here we go. she's a real bitch. My heart broke into a million pieces. I dont know. Its because of biology, and a legal system that puts the interests of the child above the interests of the parent. It just doesnt mean that everything will be acceptable whole-heartedly. If a woman wanted to choose to terminate the child, would she be less of a real woman for not stepping up to the responsibility? Scan this QR code to download the app now. Look, you broke up with him because your relationship had some problems, and because of trust issues, and his inability to commit to you. Then the day we got back from this amazing vacation, he broke up with me through email! Thanks for noticing, though. Thank God for the real men. honeybeenicki Francine So, to be clear, every woman who has had an abortion is, in your mind, an immature asshole. Always follow your gut and your instincts. He doesnt want anything to do with his child? Because, since you cannot prevent pregnancy and you cannot prevent sexual transmission of disease, I see no other way to look at it. Originally i had used much more crass language and forgot to delete the apology ooops! * However, if you bang and get knocked up by tiger woods (quite possible given his standards) you will be set for life and hence a lottery win is born. I agree with SweetsandBeets. Women have the discretion to assert paternity on a man, though he has limited rights to contest that paternity claim. Or is it Dear Wendy gender wars where the men stick together to excuse bad behavior of men while the women cry foul? Posted on June 29, 2022 in gabriela rose reagan. No. God knows the mother of this child will have no choice but to do that. It pays and so do the provider of the sperm. You moved and hoped he would come chasing you. thus why I said troll label aside. April 9, 2012, 10:04 pm. Personally, it doesnt sound like shes trying to trap your untrappable boyfriend into a relationship YOU are trying to trap him, or get rid of him, by telling him he should stay with her because its his kid (and then you go around calling her (the mother of your BFs child) scoat and such very classy)! Its biology. female You are arguing for NO abortion in cases of rape. I could understand that he would be shocked and unhappy, but who does that? Even when they both want the same thing. You mean, a man shouldnt be able to decide to throw money at his child, but never once be involved whatsoever in the childs life?. P.S. Chuck Pelto Im really astounded that you would say something so flippant like women can get support for 20+ years, as if its nothing! I dont think she should have any sort of legal say about the decision to keep the baby, but I dont think shes committing some horrendous crime for judging it. Translation: men should think before they poke but women can do whatever they damn well please. Tim. Its her body, there is a million reasons she might choose to have this child, even if she never so much as speaks to your prince again. The guy had sex with someone who got pregnant. I think that is fair. April 9, 2012, 1:10 pm. April 10, 2012, 6:32 pm. I love him so I'm willing to accept the baby. iseeshiny Id drop this guy in a heartbeat. Scenario 2. Some people are correct that the LWs anger is displaced. (and I hate that C-word.but LW, you deserve it). Clearly it is horribly wrong to lie about that but thats not the argument here. Like being pregnant is easy. At this point I dont think it matters how this woman got pregnant: she did. Maybe because she wants something to love. As much as men have some inherent advantages, women do as well, and one of them is the ability to, once pregnant, get support for 20+ years from someone they might have just met. People in healthy relationships dont say that. iseeshiny It's good that he's being a responsible father already by supporting them financially. Though I doubt thats what they really believe. Yeah, Im with you, pretty much on all counts. Sleeping without protection with someone who you knew for two minutes ? Maybe she doesnt to be with your boyfriend, perhaps she just wants him to be there for the baby as a father. The key if you do decide to engage- keep it as civil and reasoned as possible. He could be imaginary. Sex makes babies and every time you have sex you run the risk of making a baby. If they dont want to be taken, then they should think before they poke. April 10, 2012, 7:06 pm. I am no worse for never knowing my biological father, who paid child support, and being raised alone by my mother. As Ive said upthread: a man who sleeps with a woman he believes to be on the pill does so with the not-unreasonable expectation that she doesnt want to become pregnant. bittergaymark but he does not have the option to opt out entirely, which is something the pregnant woman can do. Nobody wants to refute what John says in his first post. Stop this back and forth with him. 1. the baby is not your fault. It seems like the LW is painting the woman in this scenario as the sole person responsible for the pregnancy. Frankly, it astounds me more of you dont think its a shockingly cunt-ified thing to do. Given the particularities and context of any particular situation, there is a lot of unfairness to go around. Couples break up for many reasons. That could very well be true I just tried to answer the letter as if whatever the LW said had some truth to it (like that the other woman was having the baby to purposely lure the guy into a relationship with her, etc.) Most guys with the level of responsibility that he is showing dont pay child support, anyway. let us know if he had). Ever look at the clock in your car to check the time while driving (or the radio to change channels, or a billboard)? Because he had sex? bittergaymark What the fuck ever. Dont choose to roll those dice if you cant cope with all of the possible outcomes. Its not a mystery. That would be the end of any sort of relationship sex. Nothing more, nothing less. It will have feelings too. landygirl You clearly didnt comprehend what you were reading very well. You really have no idea what child support means. BUT. just like anyone else we were shocked given i was on bc & for me abortion/adoption was just out of the question . Its none of your business. It sounds glib, and I mean, malarky? April 9, 2012, 3:57 pm. But, in that case as well I would have told the woman to make sure in the future she better protected herself. Changing the facts and then arguing them is just as useless as creating facts and arguing those whether you admit to it or not. And throwing money at her only covers one part of that. Its only when a baby is involved is when men come to their senses and then have so much things to say like I didnt mean to hurt you, I barely knew her, or the famous line I was drunk. Now, the woman could want it and the dude not want it. Also, if the other woman keeps the baby, this is going to provide significant insight into her boyfriends character that will help her make her decision. A douchenozzle? MOA, ASAP. That means from a mental, obvious, and circumstantial standpoint, the girl is at the disadvantage. They can both make a choice but only Susie must physically implement the plan. Hell, I dont even know the lady in question, and I can tell that shell be a lousy mother, too. Especially if you think the laws are unfair, I think youd be particularly cautious in your actions. You have to grow up and stop this childish immature desiring for a man who keeps you hanging around. But in cases where a woman chooses to bear a child against the wishes of the father, the reciprocal obligation is less concrete. April 10, 2012, 6:52 pm. I think, Chuck, what she meant was that no one is forcing these men to impregnate strangers. August 24, 2019, 2:54 pm. I appreciate the points youre trying to make. No. April 10, 2012, 7:35 pm. She loved him back then but broke up with him over this but went back to him 20 years later thinking he grew up.2016. I dont have a problem with that. She isnt the one you should be taking issue with. You seem too whiny for most womens taste. Yeah, I believe that means he must be., I believe the definition of an immature asshole is a 40-year-old man who wont own up to his responsibility to be a father to the baby he had equal part in creating.. We dont even know that this other woman told the bf that she is pregnant. April 9, 2012, 12:52 pm. You know, I was thinking about that, too. ! And then of course Ross WE WERE ON A BREAK meltdown. Not exactly. April 9, 2012, 3:01 pm, Well, I have to just give the opposite side of this that 1. at least he plans to financially provide for the child and 2. if someone is so adament about not wanting children as he seems to be, then all are probably better off giving the child to the mother only which is a hell of a lot like adoption. 4. meaning, i was on the pill, i brought condoms, i asked about testing. Until thats legally extended as you propose any man who doesnt exercise that option has no one to blame but himself when he becomes a parent. Seriously, there are as many babies in my class as there are classmates. Id rather him be honest and bow out now then be in and out or in as a lousy, forced parent. We remained friends with Benefits for months because I wanted too and he said with or without sex, he doesn't want to lose this friendship but I wanted the sex lol I . Its not a gender-based law. I mean, he loved the baby mama enough to get erected & to bang her & to just release evrything to make her pregnant, & what the fuck am I thinking?!?!? Picture Perfect Poster Girl: Taylour Paige Stars As "Boogie's" Leading Lady, UPDATE: Jesseca Dupart Denies That LisaRaye Found Out About Da Brat's Pregnancy Via Social Media, Your Weekly Helping Of Tidday Meats & Treats On The Gram, Cougar Chronicles! April 9, 2012, 2:54 pm. So, if MEN can be compelled to support children after rape, you must also support the idea that WOMEN can be compelled to support that child in the womb after THEY get raped. For what its worth, Im a married guy and a father. If she doesnt, DO NOT have sex with her. Your boyfriend made his choice when he had unprotected sex. Considering the fact that I know far more gay guys having sex (and lots more of it, with more partners, too) than I do straight people and I can honestly say none of my good gay friends have ever magically come down with HIV, yet I can name 8 people who against all odd just happened get themselves or their lovers knocked up Seriously. Why you ask? Thanks for listening to me. reader, lisa4mark+, writes (15 May 2008): A And hes a bigger idiot if he doesnt think hes responsible for whats happening to him now. Who actually uses cod wollop, malarky and scroat? But I just watched this documentary on ecstasy users whose brains were literally rotting away (Ah!!! 1.1K views, 24 likes, 7 loves, 2 comments, 9 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Shukla Gaming: Steve Wilkos ANGRY Moments He has an obligation to use condoms until he is in a committed relationship to prevent unwanted pregnancy and to prevent HIMSELF from contracting an STD (and thus spreading it around). Sue Jones April 12, 2012, 2:47 am. But I have no tolerance for the ones who cry foul after the fact when it hasnt gone their way. April 9, 2012, 5:52 pm, Sounds to me like your sister isnt so much unlucky, but a liar. April 9, 2012, 5:05 pm. But I think that both people have equal responsibility and equal rights in expressing a view. What happens when *she* gets pregnant and he still doesnt want to be a father? Step away slowly. Rachel, I have a child in the same situation. Are you kidding? If she is a crappy mom the kid will be used to interfer unless she can find some sucker that wont let her. Whatever. I dont have an opinion on your status of human or troll via DW forums. Share your opinions and thoughts below! Your welcome. He does have a responsibility towards this baby, whether he likes it or not. honeybeenicki Second, after all this talk of how disgusting he was for supposedly not using a condom, not knowing her all that long, etc., why no talk about this woman doing the exact same thing (number it takes to tango = 2) and having to deal with the consequences? I think the key is that the choice to abort doesnt result in an innocent child that still has needs to be met. Parasites are all the same. Its easier just to blame her and act like hes an innocent victim, but hes not. I cant imagine what my friend would have had to deal with if that was his child and he had to have dealt with her for 18 years. Where the issue comes in is who physically is around the child more, which is placement, which though there has been progress tends to err on the side of the mother still, with all other things being equal. I was a completely amicable situation and hes had no issue with this arrangement and its been many years. I think that one should be able to decide if one is ready to be a parent and, if not, make that clear when there is time to abort the pregnancy. So, you read the letter and all of the replies and what you got out of it is that a guy got a girl preganant who he doesnt want to be with his entire life and everyone responding considers him a jackass because of that? Its always just a hope. BUT. It's not that bad (though I'll take an IUD's 0.6%, thanks). anyway, well, I've been discovering that I found out she's pregnant by someone last oct that she met. And dont worry, my sons will have the good sense to stay away from your daughters. In order to build trust, the person must be trustworthy. She has to go through a pregnancy no matter what (assuming she doesnt believe in abortion). Oh, may be you should marry him and fantasize what kind of fun he is having whenever hes late coming home, or fearful he would leave you when you, like that woman, passed 40; or be told to get rid of your baby who is inconvenient to him. Ill bet if LW gets pregnant, this guy is gone just about instantly. That isnt misogyny. Abandoning a child does. If he was the kinda guy that decided he wanted to be in his childs life every 5 years when it was convenient and made promises that he never kept and lost interest after a while, that would be seriously damaging to that childs sense of self-worth. April 9, 2012, 3:07 pm. Just a suggestion for your scumbag boyfriend. LW, why in the hell would you want to get with this guy right now? MOA, and wash your hands of the whole thing. SweetsAndBeats If hes such an awful scumbag, why would you want to force him to be a father. She might not have been on the Pill, but that was a risk that he chose to take by having sex with someone he knew for two minutes without a condom. When he chose to bust a nut in a stranger he took on that risk. But it is a dickish move to get someone pregnant and then decide youre not going to be involved in that childs life. First of all, they knew each other for two months, not two minutes. I know of a jumpmaster who lost his nose and ears for being too bold doing the one-minute door check in severe cold weather. He told me he will obviously be paying for it but wants nothing to do with her OR the baby. I have two young sons I dearly hope neither of them ever come across a woman as conniving as you appear to be. April 9, 2012, 11:00 am. He ordered her to get an abortion? So, this man had sex with a women while he was unattached and not under any commitment, and that makes him scum?. Go argue with the feminists. Not because there was anything wrong with me or because I didnt deserve a father or because I wasnt lovable she was always sure to explain that it was his deficits that kept him from being a part of my life. is significantly higher than the risk of contracting HIV, which is actually not all that contagious. You are arguing for NO abortion in cases of rape.. I know you have to keep the possibility in the back of your mind, but youve really been ready and willing for motherhood every time youve decided to sleep with someone? April 10, 2012, 10:27 am, Okay Well, I dont believe the LW has a right to be mad at anyone, simply because her and her boyfriend were broken up when this happened. While it would be ridiculous to only have sex if you intended to conceive a child, it should still be in the back of everyones mind that it *can* happen, and if so, the woman, whos burdened with the pregnancy, gets to make the final call. Even if you wore a condom. -Tried to pressure her into getting an abortion You know, I dont have much patience this morning,. female I assume from the debate that this has become a fact that was inferred due to the women being on birth control. I am willing to give this guy a teeney, tiny shred of doubt that he is in shock and is responding poorly, but that he could be a decent guy who will come around wants he gets his head around the situation. April 9, 2012, 1:05 pm. Hey, say what you want about the letter but dont diss my Twilight!!! Plus Ive noticed that the more calm and rational you keep your comment, the less likely the truly crazies ones are to even respond to you at all. ! April 9, 2012, 1:49 pm. My ex-boyfriend had apparently broken up with a girl who was a.. You had no say in the matter.. wife pays debt sex video. My point is if you dont want kids there are always ways to prevent that he chose not to and now he can deal with the consequences. We are so in love with eachother and are with eachother all the time. April 9, 2012, 11:46 am. The entire point of my post(s) is that the paternity laws in this country (which is a central consideration of the letter and the story) are out of whack and unbalanced to the point of being unfairly punitive to men. female Temperance Your ilk will perish from a lack of procreation. If you dont want to potentially end up with a kid with a woman you cant stand, dont have sex with her. After dating him for about 3 months, she got pregnant with his baby. The LW clearly believes that this is the case, and an objective reading of the circumstances she describes suggests that its a legitimate consideration. Hes scum because he abandoned a woman he impregnated.. That is called deception. At least with adopted children, they usually have one or two great parents who can explain, in a way that doesnt hurt them or damage their self-worth, why they were put up for adoption. And I would believe him that he has no interest in her other than convenience. Youre more than welcome. Now, yes, people will say: Forgive him. So what? He says fine, Ill support you financially, but really I dont wanna be a dada. Men abandon and fail to pay for children constantly. I think this would cut down on a LOT of baby mama drama with regards to accusations of women getting pregnant on purpose or trapping me with a baby. Because no matter how much we feminists on here hate that bullshit, it DOES happen. Really, people. I feel like a part of me has died . I dont think a relationship with the other woman will work but at the same time Id run from a man who wants nothing to do with their own child. She has decided to keep the baby and that is not his choice and CERTAINLY not yours. Not sure what it is now, but when I studied it in college the chance was about 1 in 10 (if you had unprotected sex with a known infected person). April 9, 2012, 12:16 pm. I DO think its completely absurd to be furious with someone else however when you become a parent after choosing to do the exact thing that can cause pregnancy. This baby will need a dad, not just a check, and if he can walk away from this child he can walk away from you just as easily. Steve Kellmeyer He isnt what is best for you. Its not some big secret that women have that option and that men are legally obligated to provide financially if she exercises that option. This guy sounds like scum. The entire letter reeked of entitlement. I hope you make sure he gets tested for STIs before you sleep with him again. Ummm hes scum because he abandoned a woman he impregnated. Sure. The idea that he actually said I would prefer if you had an abortion is laughable. This asshole is not the answer. And realize that when you have sex, you could very well get someone pregnant. I dont know what to think or believe. Dump this creep. I dont care what ridiculous conversation anyone does or doesnt have before sex. He was clearly having unprotected sex with at least one other person. When they were last together, he cheated on her many times and got another girl pregnant. And be aware that nothing short of not having sex is 100% guaranteed to prevent pregnancy. lets_be_honest That is pretty much it. He has to fit the baby into their life, not the other way around. Therefore, why are you depressed? And alimony is given to whichever spouse made less income, not women as a rule.

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